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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  November 20, 2009 12:35am-1:35am EST

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[ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legeary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: wow that was good right there. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very, very much. thank you. fe out lwith right nmill midn across the country are pacd in theaters, watct scing. and the rest of the american tweens are never talking to mom and dad again! "i hate you!" [ light laughter ] you guys hear about this? ilondon, two "twilight" fans actually got into an actual fight over the last robert pattinson poster. sending one girl to the hospital. [ light laughter ] but on the bright side, i got my poster. [ laughter ] i got it. it's awesome. [ cheers and applause ] it is so good. she's fine. she's fine. during a radio interview this week, miley cyrus will not watch any of the "twilight" movies, because she does not believe in vampires. [ light laughter ] i don't believe in ewoks either,
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but somehow i managed to get through "return of the jedi." [ light laughter ] miley cyrus doesn't believe in vampires. yeah, i guess they're not as believable as a girl who completely changes her identity by putting on a wig. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "hannah montana? you're --" [ light laughter ] hey, you guys, president obama said he probably won't read sarah palin's new book, because she'll sell enough copies without him. [ light laughter ] meanwhile, president bush said he probably won't read sarah palinss book, because it's a book. [ laughter ] "read a book?" you guys, the senate unveiled its own version of the health care bill yesterday. it will cost $849 billion and cover 31 million americans. that's so exciting. that means we're this close to having that bill voted on by the senate, then combine with the ll house, then re-voted on again by both houses and then signed into law, which will take effect in three years. exciting, right?! [ cheers and applause ] government. [ light laughter ]
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you guys, kellogs announced that there will be a severe shortage of eggo frozen waffles until next summer, because of a flood at one of their factories. yeah, they were like, "so, for the time being, you will just have to leggo -- [ light laughter ] >> audience member: leggo my eggo! >> jimmy: -- of your eggo." [ light laughter ] thanks for yelling that out sir, that's what i meant. [ light laughter ] hey, on this day in 1863, abraham lincoln delivered the gettysburg address. it began with the phrase, "four score and seven years ago." which beat out his other opener, "all the northies in the house go 'ho!' lincoln out!" i don't know if you guys know this, but tomorrow is vice president joe biden's 67th birthday. happy birthday joe biden. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] when ever he gets a birthday cake, he doesn't blow out the candles, he just talks and talks until the candles decide to put themselves out. [ laughter ]
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it's kind of interesting. you guys, according to "time" magazine, parents that hover over their children are what experts are now calling helicopter parents. meanwhile, parents who never leave on time and lose all your stuff are called delta airline parents. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, there's a redesigned mcdonald's here in manhattan with free wifi, mood lighting, flat screens and the employees wear all black uniforms. yeah, a mcdonald's spokesman is calling it the nicest place ever for homeless people to use the bathroom. [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight, give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, we have a fantastic show tonight. from the "twilight" saga, "new moon," taylor lautner is here. [ cheers a applause ] he's a good guy. i like lautner.
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from the fx show "sons of anarchy," the talented and beautiful katie sagal will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] i love her, too. and we've got music from a great band, obits, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] they're gonna be playing some music tonight. it's gonna be phenomenal. i'm so happy. taylor lautner is here. and everyone's just going nuts. people are in the "twilight" fever. they're just going crazy. i saw the movie. i saw "new moon." and no spoilers, no spoilers, but it's good. there are vampires, there are werewolves. there are hairy vampires. [ light laughter ] and hairless werewolves. [ light laughter ] it's pretty good. it is more of taylor's movie. [ cheers and applause ] he steals it. robert pattinson is like in the beginning and at the end, a little in the middle. if you read the book, you'll see, but he is more of bookends, really. [ light laughter ] yeah, but we're so excited to have taylor. it's gonna be super fun. i mean, robert pattinson, the
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dude who plays the vampire in the "twilight" movie, i know, that guy is one tall drink of water. [ light laughter ] in addition to being handsome, he is really bothered by a lot of things. [ scattered cheers ] and, yeah, in fact, a couple of months ago, he actually started his own website called robertisbothered.com. [ scattered cheers ] it's unbelievable. he did this so he could talk about the different things that bother him. he set up a website. it's unbelievable. yeah and now with the "twilight" sequel "new moon" coming out this week, it seems like he's even more bothered than usual. [ light laughter ] take a look. ♪ >> jimmy: bothered! hi, i'm robert pattinson. sometimes, when i get bothered, i climb up into my tree and i think about different things that bother me. movies bother me. sequels bother me. "new moon" bothers me! okay, sorry to say. okay? check yourself at the door.
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"new moon" bothers me. yes. "new moon"? what kind of a name is that to a sequel? it shoulhave been called "twilight two." [ light laughter ] i mean, was the sequel to "rocky" called "new rocky"? no, "new moon" my ass. who named these [ bleep ] movies?! [ light laughter ] i'm not in it much am i? i am in the beginning and the end and a little in the middle. the middle part of the movie is when people leave the theater to go poop and pee! [ light laughter ] watch the beginning, watch the end! fast forward the middle you jackass! [ light laughter ] new moon has werewolves in it. werewolves are stupid. [ light laughter ] wolves are dogs. they are pets. no one is afraid of pets! you made a movie about this? that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard of. o cares! i want to see vampires. and not werewolves! hey, come here, werewolf, fetch. fetch it! [ light laughter ] and then bring it back and go away again. this is stupid for two hours.
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let's get back to the vampire action! [ light laughter ] wolves are stupid! people that have wolves in their name are stupid! okay. wolf blitzer, you idiot. [ light laughter ] wolfgang puck, get on the [ bleep ] train and get lost. [ laughter ] wolfgang amadeus mozart, first of all, great name. second of all, icabad crane called, okay, he wants his look back. [ laughter ] taylor lautner is in this movie a lot. taylor lautner's quite muscular in this movie. you know, he's got his shirt off in every scene of the movie. give me a break. i mean, what was he doing walking around shirtless the whole movie? i mean, that was the little treat i would give people. [ light laughter ] a bunch of shirtless boys. are you afraid of this gang? wear a shirt! look at these people. like a boy band. [ light laughter ] they are like o town for werewolves.
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i mean, would like to go to cinema? [ light laughter ] to see the movie called "new moon." there's a lot of vampires in it and werewolves. but who cares about -- what do you mean you like werewolves, too? go to another tree. get lost! [ light laughter ] [ hisses ] [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: robert. robert is really, really bothered today. "new moon" opens this week. and check out robertisbothered.com to see the many things that robert is bothered about. stick around, everybody. we'll be right back with "ultimate mustache fighter." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ( upbeat music playing ) ( panting ) ( cat meows )
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(girl) dim lighting it is. perfect. (girl) oh this one's really close by. great ratings too. so let's go eat. what's the rush? i thought you were hungry? i am. (announcer) stop searching, start deciding with bing the decision engine from microsoft. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. welcome back and thank you so much for watching at home, i appreciate it. have you heard about this? apparently, there's a big feud brewing lately between wilford brimley and gene shalit?
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actually, i'm sorry, it's their mustaches that are feuding. it's a big story in the mustache world. in fact, they are about to do battle on our sister station the steel channel. you guys want to check that out? [ cheers and applause ] see mustaches brawl. well, all right then, let's switch over to steel channel for "ultimate mustache fighter." [ cheers and applause ] >> "ultimate mustache fighter" presents brimley/shalit, death match three, major razor rash. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: whoa, nelly. >> jimmy: welcome all to the "mustache fighter." death match three, major razor rash. i'm brock leonard, with me, as always, the professor, barry star. barry, we've got a hot one tonight. >> steve: yeah, this is wilford brimley's mustache in his first title defense since stealing the championship belt from the mustache of geraldo rivera. he's taking on the ferocious face fuzz of nbc film critic gene shalit. >> jimmy: there is no love lost between these two mustaches, barry. [ light laughter ]
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>> steve: go head, brock. >> jimmy: this ring is not big enough for the two whiskered warriors, these hairly heathens, the brilly, bushy beasts of barbarically belligerent bristlinest. [ light laughter ] >> steve: are you done? >> jimmy: semi-bearded -- roll the tape. >> steve: roll it! ♪ >> grimly! >> shalit! >> one belt, two mustaches! they grow it, we show it. don't even try to control it. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: whoa, nelly! oh, that's crazy. >> jimmy: welcome back. it is time to check the tale of tape. >> tale of the tape! >> jimmy: as you can see, a more-or-less useless comparison, professor barry. >> steve: well, pretty evenly matched all-in-all. whoa! >> jimmy: people, put your hands together.
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we have world famous ufc referee dan miragliotta in the house. give it up. [ cheerand applause ] here we go. the beasts have been unleashed. now in the ring, weighing in at o.o1 ounces, with a record of seven wins, no losses and two seasons of a family comedy program "our house." hailing from under the nose of wilford brimley, it's the "ultimate mustache fighting" champion of the world, wilford brimley's mustache! >> steve: he looks like a giant, white beaver pelt of violence. >> jimmy: he certainly does. there he is right there, wilford brimley's mustache. >> steve: look at him go. >> jimmy: there's his opponent. weighing in at o.oo15 ounces, with a record of nine wins, no losses and countless move reviews, ladies and gentlemen, he's unkind, he's much maligned, he's a mustache and i think he has lost his mind. >> steve: he may look ridiculous and make no mistake, he is ridiculous in a very, very big way. >> jimmy: it has broken out the ring. it is shear pure pandemonium right now. [ bell rings ]
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things are settling down right now. but what an exciting match already. >> back it up. >> jimmy: let's go to the ref. >> all right, are you ready? you ready? let's go, fight! >> jimmy: there they go. the fires of hairy hell have been unleashed. >> steve: thiss the most sickening sight in all of sports! >> jimmy: a repugnant display of moral depravity, professor barry. have these mustaches no shame? >> steve: oh, my gosh -- oh, my goodness! >> jimmy: there they go. wait. wait. looks like brimley's got the upper hand. >> steve: oh, no. >> jimmy: wait's happening? >> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: wait, wait. look what's happening. it can't be. >> steve: it is. it is geraldo rivera's mustache breaking into the ring. >> oh, my gosh. he wants revenge on brimley. oh, my -- >> i solve crimes. that's what i do. ♪ >> thursdays on steel. [ bell rings ] >> steve: oh, my goodness. i have never seen anything like that before in my entire life. brock, did you see that?
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>> jimmy: professor barry, words can not describe the history making event that just unfolded before us on the rink. i am so glad i was here to witness it. and you all got to see it at home. i feel like my eyes just took viagra. [ light laughter ] the winner, by disqualification, and still "ultimate mustache fighting" champion, wilford brimley's mustache. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right be with taylor lautner! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (announc) we call it the american renewal
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♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i just want to say a quick thanks to dan miragliotta for helping us out with that last sketch. he'll be refereeing a big fight ufc event this weekend in vegas, tito ortiz versus forrest griffin. he's refereeing actual people this time. so, check that out. [ cheers and applause ]
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he is a good man for doing that. it's almost time. here he is. our first guest tonight has sprung to stardom playing jacob black in the "twilight" movie series. [ cheers and applause ] the second installment "new moon" is currently filling up theaters worldwide. please welcome taylor lautner, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ bark at the moon hey, yeah bark at the moon hey, yeah ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you, buddy? thank you so much for coming on the show. >> thank you for having me. this is exciting. >> jimmy: yeah, you're a good man. [ cheers and applause ] you're a good guy. we had kristen here last night, kristen stewart, and we were throwing footballs. so, thanks for the --
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>> no wa >> jimmy: you gave us a little tip on that. >> how was she? >> jimmy: fantastic. i was holding up plates and she was smashing footballs with plates. shwas 4-5. >> are you kidding me? >> jimmy: she's phenomenal. she said you taught her how to get the spiral down. >> we throwing around on set. but that's impressive. >> jimmy: yeah, it was really, really good. i talked to you backstage about the first time i met you. a couple years back, this is before the first "twilight" movie came out. i was on a plane going from l.a. to new york or something like that. the flight attendants come up to me and they go "hey, mr. fallon, thanks for coming on our plane. we are big fans of 'saturday night live' and 'weekend update' was great with you." and i go, "thank you so much." "and your movie was good." i go, "thank you. thank you." "anything we can do for you --" i'm sitting there, and then you walk on the plane and the flight attendants are like, "hi! oh, my god, taylor! if there's anyway you could sign this for my daughter. or -- if you want, you can fly the plane. go ahead -- [ laughter ] have you ever tried it? try to fly the plane." and i was like, "i do a very
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good talk show, yeah?" [ light laughter ] i get nothing for that at all. but anyway, you were very nice and you signed everything. you were just -- you're a good guy. and now, this movie is your movie, my man. >> really? >> jimmy: you -- this is it. [ cheers and applause ] this was good. you were fantastic in this movie. >> you enjoyed it. >> jimmy: i loved it. i thought everyone was great. kristen was great. everyone was great. robert pattinson was a little bothered by it apparently. [ laughter ] but this is your movie. i mean, got, you got jacked for this movie. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. no, not fake. i remember all the work for it. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: how did you get that big? >> it was tough. i mean, obviously, a lot of time in the gym. eating a lot of disgusting food. >> jimmy: like protein shakes and stuff? >> yeah, all the shakes and a lot of protein, carbs. >> jimmy: were you always in shape? did you have your shirt off, even at all? >> no.
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>> jimmy: this one you have like a 25 minute scene of you taking your shirt off. [ light laughter ] like slow motion? >> exactly. you got it. >> jimmy: you have like 35 abs. [ laughter ] and each one of them gets a close-up. [ laughter ] and each one of them gets a line in the movie, too. >> is this the scene where she's bleeding? >> jimmy: that and a scene where you hopped through the window. and it's slow motion. she just stares at your chest for like ten seconds. [ light laughter ] is that weird for you? >> it was a little weird. just 'cause i was the only one, you know, wearing little, jean shorts. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: jean shorts that is kind of fun. >> i was trying to rock them. >> jimmy: the screams in my theater, you definitely rocked them. all the other people couldn't see, because i was standing up freaking out. i have to ask you about this.
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you have a wig in this movie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: because jacob black has long hair. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: and you have short hair. i was like eventually he will have short hair, because i know you have short hair from reading in the magazines and seeing you on tv. >> posters. >> jimmy: or maybe you were gonna have it the whole movie. but you don't. did you enjoy that wig? >> no. no, no. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: did not like the wig? >> definitely not. >> jimmy: that was a lot of hair. >> yeah, it was really annoying. it was itchy and hot. >> jimmy: you looked like the one guy from the black eyed peas with the long straight hair. [ light laughter ] [ vocalizes ] thanks, buddy. i worked on it. >> i heard you practicing in the dressing room. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i have to have my shirt off, too. the whole thing was awkward. that should have been my own dressing room, not yours. [ laughter ] my apologies. but the wig came off.
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the wig, i heard you say the wig had its own standing ovation when it was done. >> it did. yeah, when an actor wraps a film, the whole cast and crew gives a standing ovation. the last day i filmed with my wig, it got a standing ovation. we held it up in the air. it was awesome. they said, "do you want to take it home?" i was like, "no, you can burn it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: use it as fuel. yeah, but you have been doing so much press on this film. you guys are doing a great job going everywhere. i mean, gosh. [ cheers and applause ] >> it's busy. >> jimmy: you went, like, to other countries. i mean, outside of america. where did you go? >> kristen and i started in south america. we went to brazil and mexico. [ scattered cheers ] and then we did the whole european tour. >> jimmy: did robert have a different deal? >> robert and chris weitz went to japan, when kristen and i went to south america and then we all met up in europe. >> jimmy: really? i figured you would be huge in japan, too. maybe you should and that to your list of things you don't
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want to do any more. "i have done enough press." do you get to see the towns where you go? >> not at all. all you see is airports and hotel rooms. it's a bummer. >> jimmy: yeah, but you have passports. >> yeah, that's proof. >> jimmy: "look, i swear to god, i was in london. i saw a bobby. [ light laughter ] i saw a red phone booth." >> exactly. >> jimmy: now after this, what are you going to do? gonna go vacation, home, thanksgiving? where are you going? >> thanksgiving. i am going relax at home. i have family in town. sit down, watch a football game. >> jimmy: yeah, you are a big football fan? >> i am, i am. >> jimmy: who do you like? >> you had to ask that. i am from michigan. [ scattered applause ] so, i try to support my -- >> jimmy: look at questlove. >> i am not going say it any more. >> jimmy: detroit lions. >> detroit lions, baby. >> jimmy: that's my man matthew stafford. stafford was on our show.
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he was breaking plates on our show. >> who did better? stafford or kristen? >> jimmy: kristen. [ light laughter ] yeah, but stafford is starting. he's young. he will grow into it. i didn't know you were from michigan. >> yeah, from grand rapids. moveour here when i was 11. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. wait, out here in new york? oh, to l.a.? do you like l.a.? >> i do. it's a lot different. it's nice. the weather -- >> jimmy: the weather kicks butt. i got say, a lot of people are saying you made werewolves scary again. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah, because there was a while where they were like "teen wolf." they were going around playing basketball for their high school. [ light laughter ] now they are actually frightening again. some scenes where you are like -- >> it's good to hear. it is a lot of work. >> jimmy: you shot both movies at once? >> we had like a month and a half off. >> jimmy: really? >> short break. but they're good. we liked vancouver, that's where we filmed both of them. i'm excited for it to come out. >> jimmy: no, it was good.
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you were tough, crazy, driving around on motorcycles. you do get in that one little, motorcycle wreck. >> yeah, she gets in the wreck. "oh, you are bleeding, let me help you out." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: someone's bleeding on a motorcycle accident. first thing you do is take your shirt off. >> you got rip it off. it could be dangerous. >> jimmy: did you even touch your face. >> you sneezed. so, let me take my shirt off. [ scattered cheers ] >> jimmy: no, yeah, hopefully not. we have a clip, a scene, from the new movie "new moon." here's taylor lautner. >> what did you do? >> hey! >> what did you do to him? >> watch it little girl. >> he didn't want this! >> what did he do? what did he do? what did he tell you? >> both of you calm down. >> nothing. he told me nothing, because he's scared of you. >> too late now. >> bella, get back. >> paul, get back now. [ growling ] ♪
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>> bella! >> run. jake, run! ♪ [ growling ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, dude! that's awesome. that's so cool. >> thank you. >> jimmy: hey, when we come back, everybody, taylor lautner and i are gonna drag race on deadly motorcycles. [ cheers and applause ] see you when we come back. [ applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. i'm here with taylor lautner. "twilight: new moon" is sold out worldwide and we're gonna race motorcycles to celebrate. now, jacob and bella spend some time picking out motorcycles. >> true. >> jimmy: they get to know each other a little bit. so, tonight, i thought that we could race some motorcycles. first one across the finish line is "late night" motorcycle racing champion of all time. [ scattered applause ] yeah, that's right. wait 'til you see these bikes. they're intense. gentlemen, bring out the race bikes! [ laughter and applause ] let's do this! pretty good.
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i got this in a cereal box at the bottom. [ laughter ] >> yeah, they're turned on. >> jimmy: i don't know. i don't know how to do it. >> do you sit on this? >> jimmy: i don't think so. i don't know how we do this. it's just gonna be akward. i don't know -- it's just gonna be akward. but we're gonna have to go out of here, go down the hall and then we're gonna go -- go down through there. keep going straight then make a right into the prop room. and then, once through the prop room, around through the curtain, right here. and whoever crosses the finish line is the super champ of all time. >> put this on? >> jimmy: yeah. all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: audience, you want to count us down? [ drum roll ] >> oh, man. >> jimmy: i don't know what else to do. >> oh, man! >> jimmy: ready? three, two, one! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you okay? the champion, tayr lautner, right there, everybody! go see "new moon." it's awesome. taylor lautner, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] katie sagal joins us next.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. thank you so much. our next guest is a talented and versatile actress who stars in the critically acclaimed fx drama, "sons of anarchy," which airs tuesdays at 10:00 p.m. say hello to katey sagal, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: thanks for coming on. >> oh, i am so thrilled to be here. >> jimmy: i'm a big fan. how was i on those bikes? >> oh, you were awesome. really, really good. i thought it was a noble attempt. >> jimmy: yeah, it was really manly. >> he kind of kicked your ass. >> jimmy: he really did kick my ass. yeah. >> he cheated just a little bit. >> jimmy: yeah, a little bit. yeah, but i guess there were no real rules. >> no real rules. you did great. >> jimmy: i forgot to set the thing. yeah. >> he did great. >> jimmy: i should say, everyone -- a lot of people remember you as peg bundy from "married with children." [ cheers and applause ] which you were fantastic on. and then now, fans have all gotten to together and they're bringing "turama" back. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes, "futurama." >> jimmy: coming back. >> it's back. it's the show that never dies. because it has a very strong fan base. so, every year they say this will be it. >> jimmy: yeah, and then they bring -- >> and i'm always thinking, "you're lying. this will not be it." >> jimmy: this is like the fourth, fifth time they brought it back. >> yeah, they keep bringing it back. >> jimmy: it's kind of awesome.
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it is great. i am so excited about that. >> me, too. >> jimmy: but now you have this huge smash, "sons of anarchy." >> yes, i do. >> jimmy: which is a big hit. >> i know, it's really great. >> jimmy: people are loving it. you know, i was watching the show, i'm a fan of the show. an di was doing a little research on you before you came on. and i was reading that you were a back up singer for like bette midler. >> yep. >> jimmy: i knew that, i think. and who else? >> etta james, bob dylan. >> jimmy: bob dylan. >> yes, bob dylan. >> jimmy: that's interesting, backup singer for bob dylan. >> yes, it was short lived. but it was very impressive. i was incredibly impressed that i was singing with bob dylan. >> jimmy: but, i mean, why was it short-lived? you just didn't want to do it anymore? >> yes, he -- no, no, no. he fired me. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: bob dylan -- did he really? >> yeah, he really did. >> jimmy: bob dylan fired someone else for their singing? [ laughter ] that's kind of interesting. >> exactly, that's what i thought, too. >> jimmy: i go to see him in concert, i have no idea what he's singing until he gets to the chorus. [ mumbling and singing ] ♪ ♪ how does it feel [ laughter ] you go, "all right, i know that song." "like a rolling stone." one of my favorites. >> that's kind of like when he fired me, i had no idea what he was saying. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "i'm hired.
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i'm hired." i'm not hired." >> "no, no, no. you're gone." [ imitating dylan ] >> jimmy: "you are fired. get out of here." [ mumbles as dylan ] and you're like, "what is he saying." "get out. you have to leave." >> leave the building. that's right. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: leave the building. that's super fun. did you go on the road and all that stuff? >> i did. i traveld with bette a lot. i traveled with etta james a lot. you know, all my 20s, i made my living as a background singer. i made records, my own records. i kept trying to be, you know, a rock star. but it just kind of evaded me. i'm still trying, though. >> jimmy:eah, you can't give up a dream. >> buy my record. >> jimmy: yeah, you could do it. >> that's what i think. >> jimmy: i mean, what you're doing now is super rock star. you are on one of the biggest biker shows i have ever heard of. >> i know the wardrobe is definitely rock star. >> jimmy: you play a badass. >> i do. >> jimmy: you really do. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you got crazy tattoos. and you got a scar. >> well, she has -- in her back story, she has a genetic heart defect. so it kind of ties in with the story of her grandson, who also has the defect. so yes, i wear this scar, which a lot of people think it is really me.
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it's not. you see, i don't have that. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> and then i wear tattoos. i have all these really great tattoos. all the guys do. >> jimmy: it must take a long time to get into -- >> it does. like, peg bundy was nothing compared to -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: peg bundy was a wig -- >> that was a wig and "let's go." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's it. now there's, like, painting tattoos on. >> well, they stick them on but it does take a while. >> jimmy: i recently just did a thing where we dress in drag. [ light lghter ] >> did you? >> jimmy: yeah. it's called "the real housewives of late night." >> i think you're adorable. i love watching you. [ cheers and applause ] no, it's ridiculous. >> it's called "the real housewives of what?" >> jimmy: "late night." >> oh, i'd love to see that. >> jimmy: so i play like -- what my wife would be like. but it takes like an hour to just get me in make up and stuff. and i'm like, "who would want to do this every day?" >> well, many people. >> jimmy: i know. [ light laughter ] gosh, do i have respect for you guys. honestly. unbelievable. but i mean, just putting all that stuff on. we were just talking the other day, like, if you do a movie like "the grinch" or any of that stuff -- >> well, you know, there's all those stories about those guys getting really claustrophobic. i think it was jim carrey when
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he did that movie. and it would just freak them out to have to be in all that makeup. >> jimmy: i mean, it would take like -- you sit in the chair for like six hours. >> forget it. >> jimmy: that's ridiculous. >> i could never do that. >> jimmy: you couldn't pay me enough money in the whole wide -- well maybe, $30 million. [ laughter ] but that's it. that is it. >> just one time. only do it one time. >> jimmy: that is just one time. i'm not doing a sequel. all right, maybe i'll do the sequel. but let's talk about it. but anyways, this show was your husband's idea? >> yeah, my husband is my boss. he is the creator and executive producer and he writes it. yeah, it's been really great. >> jimmy: how does that work? the dynamic there? like, you can't go, "i don't like this scene?" or you go, "this is cool." >> i cannot say that. well, actually, everything i pretty much like. for real. he's pretty awesome. and we kind of have -- you know, we have three kids at home. so when we get home, it's just really about them. and then when we're at work, he is my boss and he really loves that. >> jimmy: and you get into -- i mean, is he a biker? or he just came up with the idea? >> well, he's not a biker but he rides a bike.
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he just got a bike. >> jimmy: what kind of bike? >> a harley. >> jimmy: a harley. that's the wato go. i've hung out with bikers in the past and they have so much fun, first of all. let me just say. >> the bikers or the bike? >> jimmy: me hanging out with the bikers is like pee-wee herman. [ laughter ] yeah, it's like "pee-wee's big adventure." i know you think it's like that. [ imitates pee-wee ] "i am trying to use the phone." [ laughter and applause ] it's not like that at all. i actually am friendly with the bikers. >> oh, you like to hang with the bikers? >> jimmy: oh, they're super fun. >> oh, yeah. it's a great community, actually. >> jimmy: super fun guys. yeah. i feel so safe. [ laughter ] >> well, you do feel safe. >> jimmy: like, "bring it on." i'm not afraid of anything. i'm like, "hulk smash." >> oh, ow, wow. >> jimmy: i'm like banging into everything. i don't care when i'm with bikers. i'm walking through glass. i don't care. yeah. [ light laughter ] done you feel that way? you feel powerful. it's almost like a superhero. >> yeah, i feel pretty -- well, we don't hang a lot with the actual bikers. but they're very supportive of the show, though. >> jimmy: oh, they are? >> we have a lot of biker love. yeah, which is a good thing. because you don't want a lot of biker hate. >> jimmy: no, no, no. no, no. >> the biker love is a good thing. >> jimmy: yeah, and do you go to, like, those big events they have? like bike shows? >> the rallies? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i went to -- what's it called?
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the love ride in los angeles. and all the guys on our show went. we were like rock stars. i mean, they loved us. >> jimmy: that's super cool. >> yeah, it was great. >> jimmy: super fun. and i gotta say, the scenes are intense. i mean, the ones especially with you. you play a really tough, tough chick. >> i do. >> jimmy: yeah. you smacked a skateboard over a woman's face and broke her nose. >> yeah, i did. [ light laughter ] in a hormonal rage. >> jimmy: that's all it was? >> it was really -- well, she did a bad thing. >> jimmy: "excuse me. sorry about that." >> she did a very bad thing. >> jimmy: true. >> you know, she slept with my husband. not good. not my actual husband, my tv husband. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. >> that would be a whole other story. [ laughter ] and not a good one. >> jimmy: i want to show people a clip of the show. >> oh, okay. am i -- >> jimmy: yeah, you're good in here. you're kicking butt. >> you want some coffee, doll? >> i can get it. >> i got it. cream and suga >> sure. black, two sugars. >> they need to do that, to show respect. >> please. >> don't just toss that off.
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you've earned that, sweetheart. you're not just some crow eater. you're jax teller's old lady. and that means something in this clubhouse. and in this town. people need to shoyou respect. and you don't take [ bleep ] from anyone. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. i love that. "gotta teach them respect." >> "you gotta teach them respect." yeah. >> jimmy: it's very -- people compare the show to "the sopranos." i can see why. >> well, it's got -- it's got an outlaw component and it's sort of a counterculture that people aren't really familiar with. and so those are the elements that remind you of "the sopranos." and it's about family lives of people you normally probably wouldn't hang out with. >> jimmy: yeah, that you have no idea about. "what are biker families --" >> they do nefarious things. >> jimmy: yeah. gosh, you're fantastic. "sons of anarchy" airs tuesdays at 10:00 p.m. on fx. katey sagal, everybody!
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obits performs next. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we got such a great finish to the week tomorrow nigh talented actor and host of this week's "saturday night live," joseph gordon-levitt will be here tomorrow night. [ cheers ] and we're also -- we're very, very lucky to have the icon of the music world, the legendary elvis costello will be with us tomorrow night. [ applause ] he'll be chatting with us and performing with the roots. and we have a new episode of "the real housewives of late night." [ cheers ] where you'll see me in drag. and i'm sorry about that, but it's just very funny. hope to see you back here tomorrow. first, our next guest -- i'm very excited about this band. they're a great new band from brooklyn. they're here tonight to perform the song "fake kinkade," from their sub pop debut "i blame you." please welcome obits! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ i bought a fake kinkade that's what the man said but i wouldn't have known for all my life ♪ ♪ i thought i had it made but i was betrayed by a forger in a foreign country ♪ ♪ i don't like i seen this world without disruption ♪ ♪ everything so peaceable and bright all my true antipathies ♪
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♪ were vanquished by the light ♪ ♪ i bought a fake kinkade that's what the man said but i wouldn't have known for all my life ♪ ♪ i had it in a safe put it in a safe place had it in a gilt frame i know my rights ♪ ♪ ♪ i walk the cobblestones in starlight i feel the moisture on my skin ♪ ♪ i feel the power of imagination
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move ordinary men yeah, it was a fake ♪ ♪ it was a fake it was a fake it was fake ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks, guys. appreciate it. thank you so much. obits, everybody. check out their album, "i blame you." see them in brooklyn live, new year's eve. my thanks to taylor lautne

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